What We Really Need to Heal Our Souls…

What We Really Need to Heal Our Souls…

I'll hold you for as long as it takes photo

“I’ll hold you for as long as it takes.” 

The silent promise I give to my little girls. 

Their emotions are so delicate. Their tears so easily triggered.

“I’ll hold you for as long as it takes.” 

I told my three-year old daughter as we stood outside the car in her school parking lot, the rain pouring down on us as she sobbed breathlessly in my arms. 

She didn’t want to go in the car. She just wanted me to stand there, holding her. And I didn’t want to rush her, or tell her to stop crying. 

“I’ll hold you for as long as it takes.” 

I thought as I longed for her to feel what it’s like to have her emotions honored, regardless of what triggered them. 

Allowing for her to cry until she determined she was done, instead of trying to determine it for her. 

“I’ll hold you for as long as it takes.” 

My mind whispers to them daily. Silently praying that through the honoring of both their tears and their joys, I empower their generous and vulnerable hearts. 

Desperate for them to know that no matter how much they hurt, how much they feel or how much they reveal, they are loved, unconditionally.

“I’ll hold you for as long as it takes.” 

Is what I want to tell myself when time feels constantly lacking and the world of a working mother moves at a speed faster than I can fathom. 

Always searching for the simple moments when time seems to stop and I’m able to create the most delicate memories. 

“I’ll hold you for as long as it takes.”  

Are the words I wish we all could hear when we’re feeling shamed, lonely or dismissed. 

Aching for belonging, understanding and purpose. Allowing for our hearts to fully feel and heal before we’re forced to move forward.

“I’ll hold you for as long as it takes.”  

Are the words I longed to hear whenever I felt like the world around me was precarious and untrustworthy. 

And whenever I felt like the world within me was as fragile and breakable as a child’s delicate heart.  

Holding on…

Comforting arms. Love that grounds us. Work that envelopes us.  

A life full of moments we can savor, instead of to-dos and empty status updates. Relationships full of comfort and understanding, instead of judgment and shame. Perspectives full of possibility, instead of fear and doubt. 

We’re taught the importance of always moving forward, for valid reasons of course. But what about the importance of pausing and holding on. 

Holding on to the words, to the imagery, to the emotions that need to be fully felt for us to heal. 

Holding on to moments where life feels like magic, never truly knowing if we’ll get another. 

Holding on to the child, or the friend, or the spouse who simply needs our full presence. 

When I find myself lost in worrying about the future and my husband offers me solutions, I ask him to just hold me instead and tell me all will be okay. It’s in the embrace, not the planning, that I find the security I long for. 

And it’s in that holding on, that I heal and change my perspective to one of hope and possibility. 

Sometimes pausing and holding on is exactly what allows our greatest leaps forward. 

However long… 

In the work I do, I review and edit countless motivational articles. Many brilliant and moving. But I jump from one to the next, as the job demands. 

Sometimes I read something inspirational online or in a book, jumping from one paragraph to the next, knowing how little time I have to devote to any one thing. 

But what I really want is to slow down. I want to cherish the words I read and let them envelop me. I want them to call forth my tears as the emotions they trigger work through me. I want them to hold me for as long as it takes to heal the patches in my soul.

I don’t want to rush, I want to feel. 

I don’t want to find a solution, I want understanding.

I don’t want to move on to the next thing, I want to move deeper within.

However deep the passage. However strong the message. However difficult the emotions.

However long it takes, is sometimes exactly how long we should hold on. 

It takes…

It takes a will of steel to get through some of the challenges life brings us without losing ourselves. IMG_1030

Without crumbling or allowing our worst selves to surface.

A will of steel to stay whole when you feel trampled on. To stay calm when your nerves are flaming. To shine outwardly when you’re stuck deep within. 

As I go through the long hectic days of raising two young kids, while balancing a job I’m fortunate enough to get to do from home, I have to constantly channel that will. Not always perfectly succeeding, but imperfectly giving it my all.

It’s that will that pushes me to try and show up as my best, when exhaustion wants to bring out my worst.

To smile, despite my tired eyes. To brighten, when all they want to do is dance.  

It’s that will that calls for me to hold them, for as long as it takes, even in the pouring rain… 

The Power of Our Silent Promises

It’s the silent promises we make to ourselves and others that shape our world.

photo of daughters The silent promises that keep our actions aligned with our values. That push us to stay loving even when our worst would be more than understandable. 

To create those promises, we need to pause and hold on.

Hold on to the emotions we need to fully feel before moving forward. Hold on to the words that seep into our souls and heal our patches. Hold on to the vision of what life would feel like if we continually honored those promises. 

I will never be able to give my little girls all that they deserve. Their magic exceeds the bounds of my humanness. 

But I can give them my silent promises and hope that those promises always lure my best self forward. 

And so for now, I promise to hold them, for as long as it takes, and I pray that’s all they really need. 


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17 Responses to What We Really Need to Heal Our Souls…

  1. Nancy Meller says:

    That is so beautiful. At this time in my life I have to hold on as long as it takes to heal from a chronic illness and a broken childhood. I am treating myself as that child because I want to understand and "heal the patches in my soul". I am going to save this article and read it over and over again to remind myself of the promise I made. Thank You.

    • Liz says:

      I’m so glad this was helpful to you, Nancy. Sending you lots and lots of love as you work to heal those patches. xx

  2. Lindsay says:

    Thank you for your blog. I have been journaling for over 50 years, and ready to move onward to some other kind of writing. Just not sure what and how.
    You have inspired me to write.

  3. Kristi says:

    such sweet tenderness – and a lovely way to treat ourselves as well as the others we come in contact with during our days. Thank you so much for this beautiful gift in language!

  4. Helen Russell says:

    Dear Liz, Thank you for this beautiful and touching message. Tears are streaming down my face as I read and just allow emotions rise and softly express…

  5. Julie N. says:

    Liz, your messages are so beautiful! This one really touched my soul. As I try to juggle and balance life as a caregiver to my elderly father, mother, working a full time job and commute, I struggle in my personal relationships. To hear the words “I’ll hold you for as long as it takes” gives me hope that some day I will hear these words during my times of weakness. Thank you for sharing this beautiful message. You are amazing and your words inspiring.

    • Liz says:

      Hi Julie, thanks so much for reading and for sharing this! You have so much on your plate, I can imagine how draining juggling everything must be. I hope you do hear those words when you’re feeling run down, even if you just whisper them to yourself… Sometimes, that’s all we can do. Sending you lots of love & strength! xx

      • Julie N. says:

        Thank you, Liz! You are such an inspiration to me. Thank you for caring and sharing your life experiences with us! Xo

  6. Ana Plesia says:

    I love this! So much truth and tenderness. Thank you!

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