We all have times in our life when we feel utterly disempowered.
Weak, unimportant, inferior.
A snide remark from a stranger. A friend’s betrayal. A family member who could never love you as you wished they would. Or worse – abuse, neglect, abandonment…
We feel powerless and unworthy. Shamed and betrayed. Unlovable.
We cut deeply and carry those wounds with us. Constantly injuring our future with our past.
We brace for the next assault, instead of opening up to possibility. We hide who we are, instead of living a fully expressed life. We carry shame as our companion, instead of self-compassion.
If only we were given tools to release our shame and empower ourselves, no matter what emotional assaults we were forced to bear. Instead we go through life putting the pieces together slowly on our own, hoping to find healing, but sometimes never succeeding.
Perhaps the tools don’t need to be as complicated as we might imagine. Perhaps they could be simple daily reminders.
For anyone feeling ‘less than,’ here are five things to tell yourself whenever you need to feel empowered:
1. “I will use my pain as a catalyst for growth.”
Emotional pain is inevitable, it comes fully attached to our humanity. We can’t completely avoid it, but we can decide what we do with it.
No matter what you’ve struggled through in the past, you can empower yourself by choosing the lessons you learn from it.
How can you take your pain and use it to love more openly, instead of withdrawing?
How can you use it to break bad patterns, instead of repeating them?
How can you use it to help others, instead of feeling helpless?
Our struggles define and shape us. But we choose the form we mold into.
Empower yourself by using your pain as a catalyst for growth, depth and expansion.
2. “I am in full control of my thoughts and actions.”
We can’t always control what happens to us in life. We can’t change how others treat us, avoid loss or solve all our day-to-day problems in an instant.
But we can always pause and mindfully take control of our inner dialogue and the way we respond to what life throws at us.
This takes practice, perseverance and an endless amount of patience with ourselves and others. It takes an iron will. But it is possible.
Life can bring you to your knees. But even then, your thoughts and actions remain totally in your control. No one can take that from you.
When we forget this, we aggressively react to life and snowball down an emotionally slippery slope where we find ourselves completely out of control.
It can feel like life controls us, instead of the other way around.
When this starts to happen, remind yourself that you are in full control. You can envision the best version of yourself, and strive to choose the thoughts, responses and actions that live up to that vision.
3. “I am worthy. I am worthy. I am worthy.”
If there’s something you want in life, whether it’s a loving relationship, a better work environment, or perhaps forgiveness, always remind yourself that you are worthy.
If you don’t believe in that fundamental truth, what you long for may continually elude you.
No matter what you’ve experienced or what mistakes you’ve made along the way, you are worthy of a new beginning.
Your forgiving heart, your compassionate soul, your humanity, all make you worthy.
Worthy of the love, worthy of belonging, worthy of achievement, worthy of a second chance, or perhaps a third.
Believe that you are worthy and you will open your heart to possibility.
Believe that you are worthy and you will subconsciously walk in the direction you’re longing for.
Believe that you are worthy and you will find that your life aligns with the feelings you’ve craved all along.
4. “Everyday is a new beginning.”
When we feel like less than we are, we make a lot of mistakes. We doubt our instincts, do things we regret, don’t do things we wish we had.
And so we make mistakes in our relationships, in our career, in everything. And then we beat ourselves up, endlessly.
Forgive yourself. It’s not your fault – you are an imperfect human being, just like the rest of us.
We are all bound to make mistakes. Some of those mistakes will completely shatter us and take time to heal. They can’t be undone but they can strengthen the paths we follow next.
If your heart is in the right place, what matters most is what you learn from your mistakes. How can you use them to do better, love more fully, help others more selflessly?
We can’t change what has been done, but we can change every single step we take forward from there and start fresh each day with a stronger, wiser and more empowered beginning.
5. “I have the power to impact the world.”
I firmly believe that if you positively impact one person’s life, you impact the world. You never know where the ripple effect of any one small action will end.
The friend who pushes you to your potential. The teacher who never gives up on their struggling student. The mother who teaches her child the value of compassion. The ripple effects can be world changing.
No matter what you’ve experienced in life, you have that power.
We think our struggles rob us of our might, but the opposite is true. It is our struggles that equip us with the tools we need to leave the greatest impact on others and the world around us.
So whenever you’re feeling disempowered, remember that the power to change the world lies within you.
You Can Live an Empowered Life
You don’t have to go through life feeling like you’re powerless. You can live a fully expressed life that’s full of possibility.
But when feelings of inferiority or lack creep in, as they inevitably do, constantly remind yourself of the above. Then find the lessons you need to learn and create your new beginning.
Before you know it, you will never again think to question your worth.
What helps you to feel empowered?
Overcoming Cruel Words Cheat Sheet
Never allow cruel, belittling or condescending words to steal your self-esteem again. Use this cheat sheet to quickly heal and turn those words into something empowering.