The Magic Created by Love Rituals ~ Lessons from My Husband

The Magic Created by Love Rituals ~ Lessons from My Husband

love rituals

It was pouring rain a couple of Saturday mornings ago, as my husband and I packed up our car with dog and baby to head to Central Park, as we do every Saturday, come rain, shine, hail, sleet or complete lack of sleep. It’s one of our many rituals.  

“I may be pushing our luck this time”, I said to my husband, J, as buckets of rain hit our windshield. But still, we kept driving. And my faith lingered…

Faith in the oddest of tiny miracles we experience time and time again on these early Saturday morning outings ~ no matter what the weather is like when we leave our house, as soon as we’re approaching the park, the skies suddenly clear up and our walks are filled with the mystical glow and intoxicating smell that only follows after the rain. That misty air I love so much, that always calms me down as it seeps into my pores.  

J used to protest our park trips when we’d wake up in the morning to a water filled sky. But each time I’d say, “let’s just go anyway babe”. And he’d oblige.

He doesn’t protest anymore, he knows our miracle never lets us down.    

Our walks through the park during off leash hours (before 9:00 AM), where hundreds of dogs are running around freely, are the highlight of my week. Only a hurricane would make me want to miss them.  

We hold hands and talk about life and all the things we hope for. We chase our dog. We talk to strangers. We fawn over our own little Rayne drop

We stroll, slowly, enjoying the moment, the walk, the ease of the morning. Tea in hand. 

We’re not rushing off to work, juggling the baby, catching up quickly on the phone or dealing with laundry, dishes and cooking dinner. We’re just strolling, enjoying the morning, the nature, the dogs, and each other’s company. 

It brings us back. Back to each other. Back to our peaceful foundation, even if we’re discussing heated topics. We’re in our world, together, rehashing and reseting, so all that’s off can run parallel again. 

And as we drive back home from the park, the sheets of rain often start pouring down once again. And each time I’m in awe of the timing of it all. In awe of the magic created in the honoring of our ritual. 

The resetting. And then life, as it comes pouring back in. 

My husband and I have so many rituals. Rituals that developed organically. Instinctually. But I’ve noticed over time how quickly these little rituals can ground your relationship when things are feeling off. How sturdily they can forge your foundation. Even the silly ones seem to work magic. 

They work so well when you honor them. We don’t skip ours in a fight. I used to, I thought that was okay. I’d be furious about something so doing our simple kiss goodnight, our long hug in the morning, or our “I love you’s” as one walks out the door would get tossed aside. 

But my husband taught me a better way. He is endlessly my teacher in love

He never skips a ritual out of spite or anger. And over the years it’s proved to be such a comfort, to know that if I mess up and piss him off, he’ll still kiss me and say I love you before walking out the door. He doesn’t punish or use his love as a weapon, as I’ve experienced in previous relationships. He doesn’t withhold his love when things get ugly. He makes it unconditional.

It’s such a blessing that I’ve learned to give him the same courtesy, despite being somewhat more emotional of a person than he is (an understatement). 

And with the honoring of each little ritual, no matter what the disagreement or annoyance is, we reset. 

And like clearing of the skies on the rainiest of days, it’s our commitment to our rituals that helps us clear our own inner clouds, and has us walking hand in hand once again… 

Perhaps if things seem rocky at times in any of your relationships (romantic, family or friend), you can find a way to create simple rituals that ground and reset.

*I hope they bring you a little magic* 

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20 Responses to The Magic Created by Love Rituals ~ Lessons from My Husband

  1. Luz says:

    One of your best articles! Love love love it! As I was
    Reading, it made me realize of some rituals Raf and
    I have and I never even noticed ❤ i agree, they are magical
    And they keep relationships stronger.

    Thank you Liz once again.

    Xo,

    Luz

  2. Kay says:

    Great article and great reminders about keeping those rituals no matter what. My hubby and I both had rocky first marriages and have found such an amazing relationship with one another. We have those rituals that keep our love strong and I wouldn’t want to miss them for something as silly as being upset over something! Love your Central Park photos. We visit NYC about once a year and never miss our chance to walk all over the park. It is one of our favorite places to visit.

    • Liz says:

      Thanks Kay! So amazing that you and your hubby found each other after both having rocky marriages. Must make you appreciate each other all the more. So glad you get to visit Central Park, I never seem to get sick of walking around it!

  3. carly carter says:

    We will be married 26 years this labor day and I couldn’t agree more! Coffee together every morning, husky hikes everyday (Saturdays mean we get to go on ….RIDE!!! They are 14 years old and still hyper)
    It’s the little things done consistently that make a relationship bloom into longlasting.

    You always inspire. Tweeting your post today.
    A river touches places of which its source know nothing.. XO

    • Liz says:

      “A river touches places of which its source knows nothing” – I love that so much Carly – thank you for saying that! And husky hikes sound like pure ritual heaven to me. xoxo!

  4. Lindsey says:

    This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

  5. Naava says:

    Perfect.

  6. Lana says:

    Liz thank you so much for this article. I needed to read this today. I am so inspired! Love you dearly!

  7. That is a lovely reminder to make each moment count and to walk our lives out with faith that goodness comes (rainbows) after a storm! Your a beautiful writer I love your blog and your heart!

  8. Lynn says:

    That is a beautiful reminder of grace in the storms. That faithful love is not a feeling but an action of intention to one another. I am learning to NOT walk by feelings because they change with the weather, the time of month, the lack of water and sleep…Whatever blows my way can change my feelings…But Faith? That is something that anchors the soul. Like breathing in the air after a rain, hugging your spouse even if you are angry, giving grace for lack and thankfulness in the moment. You are a wonderful writer with a beautiful blog! Thank you so much for sharing!

    • Liz says:

      Wow Lynn, there is so much truth in every single word you wrote. “Faithful love is not a feeling but an action of intention” – that is brilliant. You just made me feel deeper and learn even more with this comment so thank you for that! I would say you too are clearly a wonderful writer! xo

  9. This is beautiful Liz, thank you so much for sharing this with all of us! I love the idea of ritual in relationships, and had never thought of the simple things that my love + I do for/with each other, as rituals, but indeed they are. Such a perspective change to view them as rituals – it makes them feel sacred and special.

    • Liz says:

      Stephanie! Thanks for reading! I’m so glad this helped you see how sacred and special some of the things you two do for each other are. Always nice to become even more aware of the magic that already exits in our lives. xo!

  10. AT says:

    Liz,
    I appreciate your being vulnerable in the section about your fights and the habit of holding a grudge. I can relate to the hurt of being ‘held back from’ when someone wants to change or shame me, and, regrettably, I’ve done the same to others. I also can relate to what wasn’t said, that anger at someone is never about them, so, holding a grudge against the one in front of me is irrational. Some newly formed friendships ended recently due to conflict; no foundational ritual had been set. I wonder if they would have helped. I’ll be thinking about the rituals I have and may want in my current relationships, for, like another poster stated, feelings are temporary (and when mixed with thoughts and conclusions, a bigger faction can emerge than the original thing!).

    • Liz says:

      Such a good point AT, about how holding a grudge isn’t about the other person. Grudges can be so drenched in ego and pride. I’ve held them myself of course at one point or another but now I try hard to deal with things in a better way. It takes a lot of work but it’s worth it. Thanks for such an insightful comment! xo

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